Sometimes you may be motivated to help others, but this may be a deep desire to heal a wounded part of yourself.
You may be one of those people who are called to help others, from an early age you have had this capacity to empathize with others. You are the one who responds to the needs of family members, strangers, or animals with impressive selflessness. While these caregivers can appear to have very few needs of their own as they focus on rescuing, helping, and healing others, few people can sustain this completely giving lifestyle. The vast majority have needs that lie beneath the surface, unmet. In these cases, their motivation to help others may be due to a deep desire to heal a wounded part of themselves. They need the same kind of love and attention. For any number of reasons, they are unable to give themselves that love, so they give it to others. This does not mean that they are not meant to be helping others, but it does mean that they would do well to turn some of that helping energy within.
One problem with the constant caregiver is the individual can get stuck in the role, always living in crisis mode at the expense of inner peace and personal growth. Until the person resolves their inner dramas, they play them out in their relationships with others, drawn to those who need them and often unable to acknowledge their needs. In the worst-case scenario, they enable the other person’s dilemma by not knowing when to stop playing the rescuer and allowing the person to figure it out. However, if the rescuer finds the strength to turn within and face their own needs, they can become a model of empowerment and a true source of healing.
Some signs that you or someone you love may need to rescue the rescuer within are inner burnout from overgiving, underlying resentment, an inability to admit to having needs of one’s own, and an unwillingness to be vulnerable. Help comes when we allow ourselves to admit we need it, acknowledging our humanity and our wholeness by acknowledging our pain. The understanding we gain in the process will naturally inform and inspire our ability to help those in need to do the same.
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